more favorite LA things: in-and-out--zo style

to set the record straight, i don't eat red meat. i have not consumed red meat for many years now and never feel the desire to indulge. that being said, you may wonder how i can enjoy an occasional visit to in-and-out burger. now, if you're really on your in-and-out stuff, your first reaction might be, "ooh, ooh! i know, i know! you eat the grilled cheese from the secret menu!" and i would gasp "what about THE WHEAT?!" and you would say (as people often do), "right. sorry. forgot about that." confused yet? enter ANIMAL STYLE PROTEIN STYLE GRILLED CHEESE. any in-and-out aficionados out there that can help me with the order of that? the rest of you are probably wondering what exactly this is. it is a grilled cheese (with all the fixings) wrapped in lettuce. no meat! no wheat! it may sound a little weak but the "animal style" gives it some extra stuff. pickles, grilled onions, pickles and extra everything, to be exact. this crazy concoction is everything awesome about burgers MINUS THE BURGER! and for me, that's exciting. extra point for oh-so-good american cheese. how is american cheese so yummy sometimes?!

you're going to have to squint for this one:

lettuce, american cheese, grilled onions, tomatoes, pickles, and special sauce.

home recipe idea:

• take a giant non stick skillet.
  
• pour grated cheese in a burger-like shape. let cook.
  
• scrape off cheese.
  
• eat plain or serve with fixings.

but really, in-and-out's doesn't taste like that's how they make them. it must be magic. and some power from the bible references on the packaging.